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LONDON (Reuters) - Actress Lindsay Lohan described her lesbian relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson as "really scary" but said in an interview published on Tuesday that she still loves Ronson and hopes they will reconcile.
In a rare account of her and Ronson's stormy 18-month relationship, the "Mean Girls" star told Britain's The Sun newspaper that Ronson, 32, was the only woman she had ever been attracted to.
"It was a big deal for me because I've never had a relationship as public as that, especially being with a girl for the first time. That was really scary for me. But I didn't care because I love her," Lohan, 23, told The Sun in an interview in London.
"If I wasn't with Samantha, I would probably be with a boy next. She's the only woman I've been attracted to.
"We love each other. We might reconcile the relationship, maybe. I don't know," Lohan said.
The pair split in April 2009 after a tempestuous few months in which Lohan was seen in tears after nights out with Ronson. Lohan said they broke up because Ronson's family and friends did not approve of her and the paparazzi her life attracts, but that they live in the same apartment building in Los Angeles and were still in touch.
Lohan also spoke to The Sun of her addiction to alcohol, cocaine and other prescription drugs, saying she hit rock bottom in 2007 when her estranged father started talking to the media about his daughter.
"I abused substances too much and it wasn't the answer to my problems...I tried to mask my problems with alcohol, cocaine and mind-altering substances," the newspaper reported.
Lohan said she was so terrified for herself that she checked into rehab for the first time. She later went back to rehab twice and was sent to jail briefly in 2007 for cocaine possession and drunk driving.
Lohan, who is still on probation, told The Sun that she was now clean. But she added "I'm allowed to drink now but I know my limits. There are certain situations where I have obligations. There's no reason to (drink) because I don't want to feel like shit in the morning," Lohan said.
Reporting by Jill Serjeant, Editing by Bob Tourtellotte